“
Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God.
Fear of the unknown patch stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father’s active goodness & unrestricted love.
- Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning
” —I’ve gone through a few transitions in the past 3 months. Some by choice, others not.
Quitting my first ‘big girl’ job. A relationship ending. Packing up & moving again.
In January, I found myself questioning if this was the life I pictured myself living (it wasn’t). I wondered if I was making excuses for not doing the things I promised myself I would do (I definitely was).
My life was safe and my routine was settled. My days were full of computer staring and VIP serving. I chose to pursue my desk job over because I could “move up in the company”. Then I realized that I didn’t want to move up in the company. I realized no one there really did either, but they were too stuck to do anything about it.
So I decided to actually trust God. Or at least try to. To let go of my security and comfort and trust that He had whispered into my heart for a reason and that I was made with certain passions and gifts that are unique to me (and those were not being cultivated at my desk in the Sales & Marketing department).
As I try to explain what my life looks like these days to others or family friends, I find myself using this line a lot - “I’m just hoping that this summer brings clarity and direction… that God shows up and points me in the right direction”.
After saying that shpeel for the umteenth time, I picked up Ruthless Trust and those sentences slap me in the face.
I’ve let a little bit go. I’ve let some of the tangible go. But I’m still holding on to my control… trying to eliminate the risk and keep my safety. Trust is was I need to pursue. Not answers. Not open/closed doors. Not other’s opinions (though council from respected friends/mentors is always a good idea). I need to trust. Calm my heart, my anxieties, my worries, and trust.
A dear dear friend reminded me today of this:
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. [Philippians 4]
Exhale.
Trust.
Believe in the goodness of the Lord.
Today matters.
Choose good for yourself.
Love.
Be loved.
Today’s Jesus Calling. #trust
Celebration breakfast with so many beautiful people. @rekatona @elewton @tswan @danabeth324 @terammartin #happyheart (Taken with instagram)
Lady GaGa at The US Grant #perksofthejob #tgif (Taken with instagram)
Yup. In love. @hamletinn #fairytale (Taken with Instagram at Hamlet Hotel)
Be willing to go out on a limb with Me. If that is where I am leading you, it is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk-free life is a form of unbelief. Your longing to live close to Me is at odds with your attempts to minimize risk. You are approaching a crossroads in your journey. In order to follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe.
Let Me lead you step by step through this day. If your primary focus is on Me, you can walk along perilous paths without being afraid. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy the adventure of our journey together. As long as you stay close to Me, My sovereign Presence protects you wherever you go.
Rainy day. Perfect day.
“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” — Anne Lamott
“…I realized that for years I’d thought of love as something that would complete me, make all my troubles go away. I worshipped at the alter of romantic completion. And it had cost me, plenty of times. And it had cost most of the girls I dated too, because I wanted them to be something they couldn’t be. It’s too much pressure to put on a person. I think that’s why so many couples fight, because they want their partners to validate them and affirm them, and if they don’t get that, they feel as though they’re going to die. And so they lash out. But it’s a terrible thing to wake up and realize the person you just finished crucifying wasn’t Jesus.
[Susan was asked] whether she believe there was one true love for every person. She essentially said no…
…She said she had married a guy, and he was just a guy. He wasn’t going to make all her problems go away, because he was just a guy. And that freed her to really love him as a guy, not as an ultimate problem solver. And because her husband believed she was just a girl, he was free to really love her too. Neither needed the other to make everything okay. They were simply content to have good company through life’s conflicts. I thought that was beautiful.
When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. And when you stop expecting God to end all your troubles, you’d be surprised how much you like spending time with God.”
A few days ago somebody asked me if I’d written recently. My response was no, and they asked why not - they always thought I had something good to share.
So here’s to finding out.
Relationships are funny. You want one. You get one. You argue. You laugh. You challenge each other. You’re different. It works. You fall in love. You freak out. You break up.
Society tells you by a certain age you should be at a certain point in life or doing a certain thing… but when you’re not, you wonder what’s wrong with you.
But there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re you. And you don’t have the same timeline or passions or priorities or heart as anyone else.
What matters is that you’re moving forward each day. Becoming a little more educated, a little stronger, a little more fully you than you were yesterday.
Miller brings up a good point above.
For the most part, we look to others or to God to solve our problems, to give us answers. We want quick fixes and immediate responses. But that’s probably not what we’re going to get.
“If I just had ___.” “If only I were ___.” “If ___ were here.”
We can play “What if” games for the rest of our lives or wait for someone else to fix our problems, but what good is that really going to do?
We have to make choices that our going to keep us progressing so we can learn how to love God and love others well.
Love them, enjoy them, live life with them each day a new.
It’s hard. Living in life-giving relationships is hard. Being honest with yourself, with God, and with each other. But that’s what life is really about, isn’t it? Pushing one another forward. Helping them become more them and letting them help us be more us.
And then maybe one day you’ll find that guy who compliments your passion and heart. The kind Susan talks about. The one that wasn’t going to make all her problems go away, because he was just a guy. And that freed her to really love him as a guy, not as an ultimate problem solver.
This selfless kind of love that grows into the best kind of love - a silly love. At least that’s my opinion.
Be blessed. Be vulnerable. Be loved.
And the Lord is now calling me for a second time, affirming me, enabling me, encouraging me, challenging me all the way into fullness faith, hope, and love in the power of His Holy Spirit. Ignorant, weak, sinful person that I am, with easy rationalizations for my sinful behavior, I am being told anew in the unmistakable language of love, “I am with you, I am for you, I am in you. I expect for failure from you than you expect from yourself”.
There is one barrier to love that deserves special mention because it is so crucial to the second call of Jesus Christ - fear. Most of us spend considerable time putting off the things we should be doing or we would like to do or we want to do - but are afraid to do.
We are afraid of failure.
We don’t like it, we shun it, we avoid it because of our inordinate desire to be thought we of by others. So we come up with a thousand brilliant excuses for doing nothing. We put things off, waste energies of life and love that are within us…
…Each of us pays a heavy price for fear of falling flat on our face. It assures the progressive narrowing of our personalities and prevents exploration and experimentation. As we get older we do only the things we do well. There is no growth in Christ Jesus without some difficulty and fumbling.